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A new chapter of Lisa Anita Wegner's storytelling.

Filmmaker Performance Artist www.mightybraveproductions.com

Tag Archives: art therapy

I had my first projection happening on New Years Day. It was -19 degrees outside and I had a flu that had knocked me almost senseless. I had set up and tested the equipment the day before when I had my wits about me, so I decided to go ahead with it as planned. And I’m very glad I did.

 I showed rear projections out the main windows at the Haus of Dada, to surprise -and hopefully delight the passerby.
I did cancel my camera person because I thought I might be contagious. I was woozy on cold and flu medication and had to set my alarm for ten to 7pm to turn on the set up. When I tested it I didn’t watch all the way through there are some pieces with words and when they came up in the program I realized I didn’t flip to rear projection so it was really a show for me, lying on the couch in the main room. Sweating, coughing and buzzed on flu meds.
I was intending to have a few folks inside the main room to watch with me, but I was in so shape to receive anyone, so locked the outside door. I set up a camera in the locked porch. I forgot that camera batteries don’t do well in a deep freeze.
So I watched the program from inside, in silence (nauseous headache required silence) and I appreciated again how my video work is like my visual diary. The vids I showed were all made in the last six months and it was a walk down memory lane for me. I am happily reminded my art is really for me.
Watching the smaller screen with the sped up process videos of me working was interesting. When I’m actually working I go out of myself and lose time and space. Watching me making stuff is surreal: I know it’s me but I don’t have a specific memory of it.
There were only a handful of passerby audience with the deep freeze and black ice on the sidewalks. I left one window without a screen so I could look out. One person, possibly still drunk for new years eve, yelled that they could watch my videos forever. I was the most interested in the walk by traffic and their response to an unexpected light show. I will definitely be doing an ongoing of series of these unexpected unadvertised happenings.
Two days later I woke up at 6am. I still feel gross but I can’t sleep and decided to write this. I am happy.
Here is a video of the programming sped up 20x. It gives a taste of the visuals.
It happened
I saw
Redemption
LAW
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today i have a list of tasks to do for my films and for my upcoming art installation. this morning i realized my brain was not in place to do this. after a long work week last week and judging an art competition on the weekend i could feel my cognition slip and no matter how many times it happens, it is still scary. i know i have to not fight it, relax, do what i can and let it come back. in a fews hours of slipping cognition my body starts shooting adrenaline from the fear and badda boom i’m slipping in and out of crippling panic. sometimes i can’t breathe and get a cold sweat. once that happens i have to go back to basics and breathe. then the extreme fatigue sets in. then i have to talk myself through a few rituals; making coffee; brushing my teeth; showering, walking my dogs; making art. i have realized it’s impossible to think myself out of the hole, but i can focus on other things that grab me. i have found documentaries on brain, communication and consciousness and art can grab me.

because i am now working with a deadline i have to make my day work and then preparing my brain to do my tasks then becomes my work. the stress of not having the cognitive abilities to do simple things, while there is a deadline… can be… well deadly.

first of all the other day i decided to bring on an experienced production manager named sarah. this on the whole was a nice big step toward productivity because once i have downloaded the project into her brain (her expression) then i have another knowledgable problem solver with me. in the past weeks i have tried to set up a volunteer to help me but it ended up being too stressful for my current situation.

so today i have a short list of tasks (financing and creative) and at the moment they are written down on a list and as i’ve been working my way out of my brain hole, some solutions have already come to mind. right now they are fuzzy but i trust they are there. this manoeuver is basically an act of faith. it helps for me to picture the event im working toward, visualize the films looking gorgeous and sounding sharp. and the event going silky smooth and inspiring people.

then i made a picture of how i feel right now. this morning’s picture is called signal interrupted for obvious reasons. and then i decided to write this blog. i feel like i am both parent and toddler. i need to be entertained and distracted and then be ready and focused when my brain is prepped.

i need to stay in the moment and not look at the time. i need to know that i can do this and the pathway i have found through art making and now blogging is the safest way through.

the good thing is that once i can rig jig my brain to be able to do my tasks, i am so focussed that i go through them quickly and deliberately simply. and once i get through the list the relief feels like christmas morning.

i’m going to make some more art to figure out where i am at now. and then i can sneak the work in. i have been at this process figuring out a systematic approach for years now and this is the first larger scale project that i have taken on since getting sick in 2008.

i feel this is the path i will take to get back into full time film production, while it can be a tiring amount of work it actually steam lines things for me. i do think i need a full time volunteer assistant until i can bring someone onboard full time.

yay the ever changing brain,

lisa anita wegner

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